A Band Girlfriend

Hello all,

I am a band girlfriend. This is to say that my boyfriend plays in a band. For some this might seem as any ordinary relationship. For me- it is a self sacrificing bloodhound. Let me explain.

In any normal relationship, it is generally accepted that past relationships stay in the past. They don't show up at your place of work dancing seductively in front of you. They don't stare at your current mate with looks to kill. When these things happen, for sake of the band and their reputation, I am forced to stay quiet, smile sweetly, and invite them to please come out again and bring friends. Quiet while I seeth inside. While be it that my boyfriend doesn't agg them on nor does he carry on conversations with them. But nothing can be said to upset a "fan."

In another sad case, an overly drunk pair of middle aged women came up and were flashing him. Not much I can do there. He even looked down, bless his heart. I sat and still enjoyed listening and dancing. At the end of the gig, crazy drunk lady number 1 ran up to my boyfriend while he was packing his rig and shouted at him that she was never coming back up there again because of "that girl," meaning me. I guess she saw us kiss on break and got all upset in her drunken mind. I didn't even speak to her nor eye her down. It's strictly bullshit. A drunken slur of nonsense. But nonetheless, the fan is always right and always comforted. "Don't worry - I promise it will never happen again. I hope that you all come back up here soon."

Why do you put up with something like this? In all respects, my relationship is wonderful. I am the center of his attention and devotion. We go out, we stay in, we have our dogs that we treat like our children, we have mutual close friends, cook, and are constantly laughing. I can honestly say that I have never been so in love.

What got me going on this rant tonight? Drunken crazy lady from above facebooked my boyfriend asking for a friend request. Now granted, his page is full of photos of us. Hell, even his profile pic is a pic of us. I am not jealous nor am I untrusting. If that were so, I would leave this relationship immediately. Now we both are frequent face bookers' : we use it to stay in contact with our close friends and family. Our family lives out of state and it creates a means for us to share photos, stories of day, etc. I don't want these huligans in our lives, looking at our day to day, our activities, our family, searching through our photos.

So I must ask, and please do respond: when do we draw the line on how far a fan can go? Is it not too much to ask that we keep our profiles private to only friends? Can we allow fans, but just not the unruly ones? How do I approach the topic? Do you have any alternatives for us? Or am I just completely losing it because it is 5:45a and this lack of privacy has been keeping me up all night? I don't want to sacrifice our private life.

Please help.